Careless
by Pi-dantic
Summary: Benny decides to seduce Bad Cop with 80's soft rock music, makes a very poor song selection, and it all goes down hill from there. Features I'm-Angry?-and-protective!Benny. Grittyverse/Grittyfluff AU. Thanks goes to Paperspot, Mooseings, and Cleversnail of tumblr for giving me this idea. Bad Cop/Benny. Warnings: swearing, past abuse/torture, panic attack, suicide ideation.
1. Chapter 1

Author Notes: This fic is Grittyverse, introduced by Paperspot, but more of a Grittyfluff, if you will. Based off cleversnail's devilish headcanon, Mooseing's lovely and horrifying fic (post/84227225374/you-deserve-this-summary-grittyverse-based-off), and my ridiculous inability to not associate anything from the 80's with a certain blue little astronaut.

You should probably read mooseings' fic (link above; just add mooseings dot tumblr dot com / to the beginning) to understand what's going on here. The idea, to put it simply, is that Bad Cop is triggered by certain music that was played while he was tortured.

The Pairings featured are Bad Cop/Benny and past Bad Business.

So, yeah, here's this long, drawn out thing I wrote about humanized lego people. Enjoy. :)

* * *

It'd been a rough day. Aside from a fairly grueling morning managing interns and paperwork and having to check in with the department psychologist, Bad Cop's shoulder ached from being slammed into a wall a little too hard, and he was walking with a slight limp on account of his leg being attacked with a 4x4. That was the last time he answered a "minor" domestic disturbance call by himself.

_You idiot. You could have gotten yourself killed, and then where would we be?_ He snarled at himself. A few years ago it may not have mattered to him. Now it was all that mattered.

He had to be alive to see Ben after all.

He stopped outside of his apartment building and reached for a cigarette. Ben always nagged him about these things and how they were terrible for him, but Bad Cop had trouble quitting. He needed something to ease his nerves when he was alone.

He lit the cigarette and took a long drag on it, thinking that it was about time he made a real effort to quit. Ben was right; dying of lung cancer was no way for him to go. Besides, it really wasn't fair to Ben. He was just trying to look out for him, after all.

Bad Cop sighed. He'd gotten so much better than before, but he was still…broken. Damaged. He wondered sometimes if he'd ever be able to truly heal. His spine was twisted with permanent little knots and his body creaked with undue age and his mind was quite literally half gone.

_Oh god._

That thought made him feel ill. He tried to put it out of his head, but it was a persistent hum, a background noise he couldn't shut out, like a demonic chant. He was alone in this burned out carcass. He reached for his scars and closed his eyes, breathing in too much.

Good Cop was gone. And he wasn't coming back.

Of all the things to think about, that was the subject he desired the least. He threw his cigarette on the ground and used the heel of his boot to grind it into the dirty, cracked concrete. He breathed in and out too hard, and his stomach turned. He bent over, letting his body shake and the ensuing panic attack pass through him.

He stood there for several minutes, keeled over, trembling. Pathetic. When it finally subsided, he braced himself against the wall and titled back his head. He slammed his fist into the bricks, over and over until the pain was bigger than anything else; his thoughts, the quivering in his limbs, everything _wrong_ with the world. Everything wrong with _him_.

Great, now he was weak and shaky as well as sore. Just great.

He righted himself, still buzzing a bit, his hand on fire (_though nothing seemed too damaged, thank the Man Upstairs_), but he was well enough to walk up the stairway (_goddamn they really need to fix the fucking elevator_) with only a break or two,cross the hallway, fiddle with his keys, finally get the damn lock to turn, twist the knob with his trembling hand, and push open the door.

God, all he wanted to do was sleep. He didn't even think the uniform was gonna make it off tonight. Well, maybe the boots.

The apartment was dim, but there were lights on._Ben must be home._ He smiled to himself and began kicking his boots off.

Saxophone music hit his ears out of nowhere. He froze, ice blooming from his chest and spreading all over his body.

_"I feel so unsure, as I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor...~"_

This music. This song. _No, Jesus fucking Christ, no… _He felt like all the air was gone. He couldn't breathe. He tried to breathe. He kept trying to breathe_, where was all the fucking air_?

His entire body was heavy, heavier than he could hold, but he just kept standing there, trembling and gasping, trying to crush it down.

It was happening already, he felt it in every inch of him, cold metal carving his skin in all the most vulnerable places, the smell of his blood filling his nose, his own screams shredding his eardrums while sweet soft music played and Lord Business hummed and sang along…

_No no no no NO… _No, he couldn't show weakness, he couldn't…he had to keep it together. He clenched his fists and set his jaw. It was fair. He must have screwed up. It was the only reason this would happen.

He struggled to keep his breathing slow and calm, but the previous panic attack had left him weakened and out of breath. He was swaying, the room was spinning. No, no, he had to stand still, had to stay on his feet…

He steeled himself, gritted his teeth. He managed to keep from falling down, readying himself for whatever was in store for him…

"B.?!" That voice was not Lord Business' voice. "_Bad Cop!?_"

The music clicked off. He could feel his knees give out beneath him.

A figure rushed towards him. His body tensed, still shaking.

"B., are you okay?"

The touch was soft, but not in the way Business' was. It held his weight, trying to support him as he fell to his knees. The person knelt down with him. Wild strawberry-blond hair, brilliant blue eyes laced with horror and distress. A sweet, open face, a face that somehow brought some of the air back into his chest.

"Ben." He gasped. "I'm…" he wanted to collapse on the floor and never get up again. "I'm alright…"

Benny nodded, clearly not believing him in the slightest. He reached out and grabbed Bad Cop's trembling fingers. Bad Cop gripped them, the only thing between him and drowning. Benny's other hand reached out to his back. He drew it away when Bad Cop flinched. "Breathe, B., _breathe._ Slow, full breaths, come on now…that's it…"

The terror was draining slowly, and being replaced with exhaustion and humiliation. Stupid, it was just…it was just music…

What had possessed him to play it? A spike of rage surged through him.

"Where did you get that?" he growled, as though it were a personal betrayal. Benny whimpered, and Bad Cop realized he was crushing his hand. He immediately released it, all but pushing it away. He pulled away from Benny, drawing closer to the wall. A wave of self loathing swept through him so swift and terrible it nearly knocked any breath he had gathered right out of his chest.

"I-I..._forgive me_…" He whispered. He looked up and caught a glimpse of Benny's confused and pained face and couldn't bear to look at it anymore.

Five years since he'd been like this. Five goddamn years. Like they were nothing. He curled up, his whole body shaking. He didn't know how much longer it would be before the rest of him hit the floor.

"B." That damn idiot had wandered over to him again. Like someone trying to save a wounded animal. He was only going to get bit.

"Stop." He snapped. Benny flinched a bit, but just kept coming.

"B." he repeated. "I'm fine. You're not." He reached out to him. "Come on. Let me help you to bed." He said softly.

An entire minute passed before his wavering fingers connected with Benny's. It was a small connection, but he felt much more stable, much more…grounded.

The shaking was terrible, making it all but impossible for him to stand on his own. Benny watched Bad Cop carefully, asking for permission to help him. To touch him. Bad Cop gave it, crawling a little closer to him. Benny pulled his arm over his shoulders and pulled him to his quaking, useless feet. He then led Bad Cop to his room, pulled back the covers, and laid him carefully on his bed.

Bad Cop shut his eyes as Benny took off his other shoe, then his socks. If there was one thing he never wanted in their relationship, it was to burden Benny with his problems. He was not the man he had been when he begun recovery, and he never wanted Benny to have to carry that man to his bed and lie down next to him. He set his jaw.

Benny pushed Bad Cop's legs under the covers and began unzipping his jacket. Bad Cop reached for his hands. "Ben." He said.

"Yeah, B.?" God, his eyes were so big and beautiful and _kind_…

He shut that thought out of his head. This was for his own good. "I think." He swallowed. He was pretty sure his eyes were watering. "I think you should go… home…for tonight."

Ben stopped. Bad Cop turned away, dreading his reaction.

For a moment, there was a stunned silence.

Then he gave Bad Cop's hands a squeeze. "Hell no."

Bad Cop didn't have a response for that. He forced himself to look Ben in the eyes again.

They hadn't really changed, but anger and protectiveness and resolve had found their way into them as well. His jaw was set too. He reached out slowly with one of his hands and ran it through Bad Cop's hair. "I need to be here." His grip tightened. "I _want_ to be here, B."

Bad Cop _really_ didn't know how to respond to that.

"Stop." He said finally. "I'm fine…I'll be fine…" The words wilted as soon as they were out of his mouth.

"Hey." Benny said. "It's not a big deal." He smiled. "There are worse reactions to 80's soft rock."

Bad Cop snorted. "Like what?"

Benny smiled became devious. "Oh, you _really_ don't want to know."

It was stupid. It was all stupid. It was the best kind of stupid. Bad Cop managed a choked, raspy laugh.

Benny laughed too and cradled his face lovingly. "You're so wonderful."

Tears welled up in Bad Cop's eyes as those words ripped through his insides. God, he was in a bad state. He turned his head and clenched his teeth and gripped Benny's hand a little too tightly, before remembering how he had hurt him before. _Hurt_ Benny. _Ben. _His precious Ben. He let go of his hand and pulled his own to his side.

Benny searched it out stubbornly and grabbed hold again. He giggled, leaned over, and kissed him, first on the head, then on the mouth.

He returned the kiss in spite of himself. It filled his insides with a soft, glowing warmth and his lips tasted perfectly sweet.

He knew Benny was tougher than he looked. He knew he could take care of himself. He just didn't want Benny to have to deal with him and his baggage too. It didn't matter what he was capable of. To ask that of him was unthinkable.

And he simply didn't know how to keep him from picking it up, every rotten, heavy bit of it, and carrying it alongside him. Because he would. He knew he would.

"Ben…" he began again, this time determined to make him leave.

"B." Benny said firmly. "I'm not going anywhere."

He wanted to argue. Wanted to yell and curse and throw things until the lovely man got far away from him and his toxic, dangerous touch. But he couldn't. He just couldn't. Besides, even if he could, he was too tired to try.

"Alright." He grunted. His voice was beginning to sound really weak. "Do what you want."

He was still shaking, but it was better. But he could feel himself slowly losing consciousness. The lead in his limbs.

He forced himself to move them, which resulted in a not very impressive shuffle and his aviators being knocked askew.

Benny put his hand gently on Bad Cop's chest. "Shhhhh…" He said, his voice all soft and sweet. "Lay down now, love. I'll take care of things."

After another stroke of his hair, Benny let go of his hand, and raised them both to his glasses. "May I?"

Benny had left them on. Bad Cop was more than grateful for that. He couldn't think of much worse to happen at this point than for Ben to watch him cry. He composed himself, waiting for his eyes to stop welling up, and nodded slowly.

Benny took them gingerly in his fingers and lifted them off. He folded them up and placed them carefully on the night stand. Bad Cop was suddenly aware of just how blue his eyes really were. Benny smiled. "There! Now I can see your beautiful face."

Good god, would he just quit already? The tears threatened to begin again. He squeezed his eyes and breathed in and out slowly.

Benny kissed his cheek. "It's okay, B. It's all going to be okay…"

He stepped back a bit and pushed his hands under Bad Cop's jacket, slipping it off with a deliberate, gentle motion. He took care when he came to Bad Cop's injured shoulder (_when did he notice?_). He ran his hands over Bad Cop's shoulders and arms and he eased the sleeves off of him. The whole process was awkward, in spite of Benny's effort, but he simply laughed, letting it take time, letting it be awkward. After a few minutes, the jacket was finally off and, soon after, on its way to the closet.

Bad Cop turned, watching Benny put his jacket away. He blinked. Was Benny wearing…_lingerie_?

Oh god, he was. Nestled beneath his tank top was shiny, metallic, retro-ish lingerie. With _garters_.

"The hell…?" he rasped.

Benny look confused, then glanced down. "Oh." He smiled sheepishly. "I…I, um…" His cheeks flushed. "I was kinda going for something sexy?" he shrugged, giving a nervous laugh. "I guess that didn't go so well..."

Bad Cop felt a pang of guilt. It was sweet and silly and spontaneous, just like Benny, and he'd completely ruined it.

Benny seemed to notice his change of mood. "Ah, it was dumb anyway." He said, turning to close the closet door. "And if you're up for it, we can do it some other time."

Bad Cop sighed. "Yeah…" This just got more humiliating by the second.

"Do you want me to get you something else to wear?" Benny asked, holding open the door.

Bad Cop thought about it, but, god, he was exhausted. Plus, the thought of Benny have to dress and undress him, like a babe, left him mortified. He sighed again, twisting the pillow case in his still quivering fingers. "Maybe just help me with my pants…"

Benny grinned and made an exaggeratedly seductive face. "Of course…_let me get those for you_…" he slunk over in a theatrical manner, sliding his hands down his hips.

Bad Cop managed a weak smile in spite of it all. "Stop it, you."

Mock hurt overtook Benny's face. "But I'm so…_seeeexuallllyy appeeeaaallling_." He drew out the words until they were all but ridiculous.

This time Bad Cop laughed, wheezing and coughing a bit, but it was, indeed, a laugh. He sort of wanted to tell him he was.

Benny laughed with him. "I suck at this anyway."

"Not really…" the words came out all on their own.

Benny smiled, shyness creeping in. "Oh…well…" he pulled at the edges of the silken fabric, his eyes to the floor. "If that's really how you feel…" He looked up at Bad Cop and smiled a little brighter. "We should…try this again…sometime. Sometime soon maybe?"

Bad Cop smiled. "I'd like that, Ben…"

Goddamn it, why'd he have to fuck this up? He began to shake, fighting back fury and tears. He gripped the pillow like his life depended on it.

Benny made his way over to the bed, leaned over, and kissed Bad Cop, right on the tip of the ear. "Hey." He whispered. "It's not a big deal. It's not your fault." He ran his fingers through Bad Cop's hair once more, stroking it softly. "It's not your fault, you've done nothing wrong..."

He kissed him again, on the ear, on the cheek, rubbing his arm and his back. Bad Cop stiffened a little, without thinking. He urged himself to relax, desperately hoping Benny wouldn't pull away again. _Ben. This is Ben. He isn't going to hurt you, you goddamn idiot. _

Benny didn't pull away. Instead, he leaned over further and hugged Bad Cop in an awkward sideways embrace. Bad Cop buried his face into the pillow.

"It's okay, B. It's okay…" he murmured, rocking back and forth a little. When he finally let go, he went about taking off Bad Cop's pants. He undid Bad Cop's belt and shoved it into a drawer, then unfastened his pants and eased them off, and hung them up with the jacket. Bad Cop just lay there, rigid and silent, avoiding Benny's eyes. He wasn't sure why it made him so uncomfortable; it wasn't as if it was the first time Benny had taken off his clothes. He supposed that it was different when they were making love. This made him feel like a hospice patient.

When Benny was finished with his task, he walked around to the other side of the bed and crawled in. Bad Cop heard him unclip the garters, slip off his socks and toss both aside, but nothing else.

"Leavin' that on?" Bad Cop muttered, keeping his back to him.

"Oh, yeah…" he could hear the smile in Benny's voice."They're actually really comfy, and I don't feel like changing…" he paused. "Do you mind?"

"No." Bad Cop grunted, desperately trying to shut out thoughts of Benny in silky lingerie lying next to him. Exhaustion and physical pain and traces of panic and a heaping dose of self-disgust were all actually pretty helpful with killing that mental imagery.

Benny snuggled into the covers and the duvet, making a little nest. He stopped suddenly, his breathing not restful, and Bad Cop was concerned. He rolled over, a little laboriously, and shot a worried glance his way. "What is it?"

"Um…" Benny seemed really uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Do you mind if I sleep…closer…to you?" _Like usual?_

Bad Cop wasn't sure if it was what he was wearing, or who he was suddenly sleeping next to that warranted that question; the shaking, crying, whimpering fool who stiffened at friendly touch. Bad Cop was pretty sure it was the latter, and he wanted to wring that man's neck. Of course, seeing as it was his own neck, it proved to be a rather difficult urge to satisfy.

"Of course." He said. His voice was more irritable and sour that he wanted it to be.

"Oh, ok. Great!" Benny smiled again, his shining face making Bad Cop's insides melt. He snuggled closer to him, yawning and moaning sleepily. Benny's body didn't drape all over him as customary, but he curled into him, snuggling happily against his chest and legs, the silken underwear a pleasant sensation against his skin. Bad Cop wanted to hold him and pull him in tight. But he didn't dare.

He gently pushed Benny's body away from him, just a little, and rolled over again, his back to him.

"G'night." Bad Cop muttered, shutting off the light. He listened to the sound of them breathe, trying to shut out the sensation of Benny stiffening, seemingly at a loss at the prior gesture his partner had made.

He eventually pressed his back cautiously against Bad Cop's, pulling all the blankets towards him. "Goodnight…"

He sounded crestfallen. Bad Cop pulled one of his arms around himself and squeezed until it hurt. _It was for his own good._

Some time passed. Bad Cop was worn out, but he didn't really sleep. His thoughts were abrasive and quite tireless.

What if he was becoming a burden, or wasn't safe to be around anymore? What if this happened again? Damn it, music was pretty prevalent, well, _everywhere_, and those kinds of songs were not entirely uncommon. Why hadn't it come up before? _Because you avoid places that play music like the plague, moron. Hard to hear someone sneak up behind you over music. _Oh, right…

Bad Cop gripped the pillow in his other hand. It was like Business knew, like he _knew_ that Benny was going to be in Bad Cop's life. Like he was still trying to control Bad Cop when they weren't even in each other's lives anymore.

Oh god, what if Bad Cop hadn't changed at all? What if, underneath all the softening and the therapy and the "healing" was still the same man, waiting for the right moment to take over again?

What if, at his core, he was just as much of a monster as he always had been?

That thought was like a kick to the stomach.

_Benny should really start keeping his distance._ He thought, trembling, feeling his pillow get a little wet. _Who knows what could happen? Who knows what could be lurking just beneath the surface…_

* * *

Benny pressed his back closer to Bad Cop's, trying not to disturb him. He felt him shaking still. He really wasn't supposed to be shaking still.

It felt like the inside of Benny's chest was bruised. He could feel it ache.

Stupid. It was stupid. He was supposed to know all of Bad Cop's triggers. He was supposed to make things safe for him.

They didn't talk about Bad Cop's past, or his feelings, or even what he wanted. Benny didn't poke or pry. He let Bad Cop tell him, at his own pace, in his own time. It was what he needed, and Benny was happy to oblige. It was supposed to be enough.

_Now, don't you start._ He said to himself. _That was a very specific trigger, and he never mentioned it. It could have even been to just that song…why the hell did you even _play it_? God, you don't even _like _that song! And it's not really romantic in the way you wanted, and it's not sexy…damn it…_

He squeezed his pillow and tried to shut his eyes, but he didn't much feel like sleeping.

What was he going to do? Bad Cop was shaken to his core. He was flinching at Benny's soft touch.

Tears welled up before he could quiet them. What _happened_ to him? What had to happen to a person to make them fear being touched?

But he knew. Well, he didn't know exactly, but he really didn't have to. He had an idea, and it made him…angry.

Very, very angry.

Benny was wide awake now, feeling the restless, unwell energy flowing through him until he shook.

He didn't know what he was going to do, but he knew he had to do something. He squished his pillow, hugging it to his body, his hands beneath it twisting into fists.

He was going to do something, alright. Just as soon as he figured out what that something was going to be.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Are you guys read for some Protective!Benny?! Because I sure know I am! (This was my favorite chapter to write, I think. I love LB, but he's such a jerk and totally deserves it. XD)

* * *

Bad Cop had insisted on going to work that morning, despite being in pain, despite not really sleeping (Benny knew because he didn't really sleep either), despite his emotional state, which, while not quite as bad as the night prior, was still pretty bad. But he refused to stay home over something so "ridiculous."

"It's not ridiculous." Benny said. "If you don't feel good…"

"I'm fine." Bad Cop said, pulling on his boot. "And if I don't get going, I'm going to be late."

Benny was still at a loss. He couldn't convince him to take a break, couldn't keep him safe, what could he do?

He heard Bad Cop sigh all of a sudden, probably just realizing his other shoe was still in the living room.

Benny's thoughts turned to last night, and his jaw hitched.

Bad Cop's seemed to as well, because he seemed much more tired than before. His shoulders slumped and his whole body looked like it was weighed down. He seemed so much older like this.

Benny suddenly had trouble swallowing. An odd pain had found its way into his chest.

"B.?" He said. He rose and went to him. He turned and faced him.

Bad Cop was staring at the floor, his expression pained. His breathing had quickened.

Benny reached out slowly and took his face in his hands. He bent down and kissed him on the forehead. "Be safe, love." He whispered.

Bad Cop smiled, a very small, sad, tired smile. He reached out and took one of Benny's hands. "I'll be fine, Ben." He said. "I'll be okay…"

It was then that Benny realized what he was going to do.

* * *

_You don't know what you're doing at all, do you?_ He thought to himself.

Benny asked himself for the fifty thousandth time why he was here, what he was thinking, and if he had gone crazy. He answered for the fifty thousandth time that he didn't know. He didn't even have a cohesive plan, really. But every time he answered his own question, a replay of last night, of Bad Cop shaking in terror on the apartment floor, of him trying to send Benny away, of him crying into his pillow when he thought Benny wasn't looking, rooted him to his path. He had a mission, even if he wasn't sure how he was going to pull it off, or what exactly he hoped to accomplish by it. But it was still a mission, and he needed to follow through.

Well, there it was. The house was much smaller and less decorative than he had assumed it would be. No gates, no guards. The driveway was winding, but not all that long really.

He breathed in a big, giant, deep breath, maybe the biggest he'd ever taken, and marched across the driveway, up the front steps, and right to the door. He exhaled, breathing in deep again. Though there was no visible security, he was certain there were cameras or alarms of some kind hidden around, keeping watch. He was sure he had been spotted by now.

Well, there was no turning back, then. One final big breath and Benny knocked solidly on the door. Then he saw the door bell and decided to push that a couple of times too. Halfway through the second ring, the door swung open in front of him. Benny jumped a bit.

"Benjamin?" the occupant asked, confused.

"Business." Benny said. "It's been a while."

"Yes." Business said. "Yes it has."

An uncomfortable silence passed over them.

Benny wasn't sure if he should enter or stay outside, and which one would be best for what he needed to do.

"Well, um…come in!" Business said, partially solving Benny's dilemma.

Benny followed him into the house. It was much more lavish on the inside. Sloping ceilings that didn't seem quite possible from the exterior (until Benny worked it out in his head), streamline, metallic furniture sets that all looked brand new, an extravagant, massive open living room with towering white stairs leading to the upper floor. The openness of the design really made the space feel immense, not that it wasn't already; if you counted the ceiling, it was easily three or four times as big as Bad Cop's apartment, or Benny's for that matter.

"Have a seat." Business said, motioning to the nearest couch.

"Um, no thanks." Benny said. He was beginning to think this was a terrible idea. He wasn't even sure what he was doing here.

"So, can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea? I have some wine I just got in…" He turned to a small refrigerator next to the enormous plasma television. Benny had trouble imagining needing a screen that size.

"Oh, no, I'm fine, thanks." Benny smiled, a little nervously. "I, uh…I'm actually thinking…" he mumbled.

Business must not have heard him. He turned, a glass in his hand. "So, I heard you and Bad Cop were dating. What's that like?"

"What?"Benny had not been expecting that question and had no idea what to make of it. Confusion and a bit of anger began seeping into his tone. "It's…" What was it exactly? "…Good. It's great. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I'm sorry." Business laughed. "I guess I kind of overstepped there." He stirred his glass, leaning against the fridge, smiling the smile they slapped on all the campaign posters and promotional material when he was mayor. Benny didn't see a trace of shame.

He took a sip of his drink and looked to his left, out of his massive window that showcased his well-kempt garden. He seemed to be watching the fountain splash water into the crystal pool below, lost in thought.

"It's just that, you know…We have a…history, him and I." he took another drink from his glass. "And it's been a while since I last saw him."

Benny nodded, not sure where this was going. He tried to bite back his bile at the word "history."

He looked back at Benny, smiling. "I think it'll be good for him, you know, something different…"

"I don't really think that's any of your business." Benny snapped a little too quickly.

Business laughed, Benny couldn't tell if it was to be casual or at the unintentional pun, and sipped his drink leisurely. "Yeah, of course. Sorry, pal." His brow furrowed. "What are you doing here, anyway, Ben? Can I call you Ben?"

Benny bristled. Only Bad Cop called him that. "Benny's good." He ground his teeth.

"Hey, man, are you ok?" he asked, eyeing Benny strangely.

"Yeah." Benny said after a time.

"Ok. Great." he polished off his drink, set it down, and reached into the fridge for more. "You just seem, you know, a little upset about something…"

"I'm _fine_." Benny growled.

"Ok then." Business rooted through the top of the fridge. "Hmmm, out of ice…"

He closed the door and walked over to the kitchen, glass in hand. Benny watched him fill his glass with ice at a bigger fridge, trying to think about what was occurring, what he should do. All of his thoughts were sort of a blur.

Business waltzed back into the room, looking at Benny. "Are you sure you don't want something?"

"No, I'm fine." Benny said.

"Hm." Business took a sip. Then he smiled again. "Hey, let me know if can do anything for you and Bad Cop. I mean, he's just done _so much _for me, and I really haven't returned the favor…"

Benny felt his hands ball into fists. He was beginning to remember why he was here.

"_Careless Whisper._" He said.

He thought he saw Business pale. "What?"

"Your favorite song?" He was surprised at how hard his voice was. The edge behind it.

"Um..." For the first time it seemed, Business was at a loss for words. He swallowed hard and adjusted his tie. "I uh...I don't..." One look in Benny's eyes told him not to even go there. He sighed, putting the glass on a nearby table. "Look..."

Benny's voice was steel. "Was it just a game to you?" The step he took towards him was menacing and full of fury. He was beginning to scare himself, but he didn't stop.

Business took a step backward. "A game?"

"Did you just..._get off_ from breaking him?" He said. "Is that what that was?" Benny was disturbed by his own venom. He gait was predatory, increasing in fervor. Business could pose a frightening figure when he wanted to, with or without his mechanical suit, and Benny was somewhat shorter than him, but that hardly mattered right now because Benny was far stronger and physically capable, and had plenty of training. And at this moment he was bordering the edge of control, his head and heart in the exact same place, rife with a dark, unwholesome rage the likes he had never felt before.

The look on Business's face was doing him no favors, because it flickered in at least partial admission to the last accusation.

"You're sick." Benny spat.

Business reached behind and pulled himself around the back of the couch, using it as a barrier between him and Benny. This made Benny falter, a pang of empathy flash through his chest, but failed to stop him from advancing.

"I know, I know..." Business said, pained. "I know I've done...unspeakable things..."

"This isn't about that!" He waved his hand, motioning to the window, to the whole outside world. "Don't try to make this about EVERYTHING you've done! This isn't about all the master builders, MY BRETHREN, you ordered the torture and murder of, or the entire world you tried to destroy! This was..." He stopped for breath and his tone lowered. It was practically a snarl, except it was full of sorrow and pain. "What you did to him was _personal_. Cruel and calculated and…_intimate_." His mouth felt like it was full of worms after saying that.

"I know, I know, oh god..." Business was shaking now. "I..."

"Why?" Benny was all but screaming now. "How could you DO THAT TO HIM?"

Business tripped over his expensive rug and fell to floor. He tried to crawl away, but Benny was there, on top of him. He flinched and drew away from his cold, darkened gaze.

Benny felt ill, but all he could see was Bad Cop, the moment the music had hit his ears, standing rigidly at attention, and he suddenly realized why—he'd be punished extra for showing this kind of weakness. And here Business was, not even bothering to hide it. It made him want to break every bone in the bastard's body.

The anger and the pain consumed him, and for a split second, he really, truly thought he would do something he'd regret. His hands were fists, his muscles tense, and his teeth baring like a wild animal's.

Oh god, this scared him. It scared him so badly. He liked to think he was above this, that he wasn't capable of this, but he knew that wasn't true. With the right motivation, everybody was capable of this. But the thing that truly made him stop was the thought that if he beat someone (specifically, the former acting mayor) and went to prison, Bad Cop would never forgive himself. He'd have to visit Benny through bullet proof glass, every day thinking it was his fault Benny was there. He'd be horrified. If he made this mistake, Bad Cop would pay for it.

The passion withdrew from him in a single, vicious sweep, and now he was the one shaking. He unfurled his fingers and lowered his arms to his side. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

"He's a good person, you know." Benny said. "He doesn't think so, but he is."

Business said nothing. All Benny could hear was his unsteady, labored breath and the pounding of his own pulse in his ears.

Benny opened his eyes. Business's arms were quaking like jelly.

"I wish," he said. "I wish there was some way I could protect him. But I can't. These things that hurt him...they're inside of his head." He eyed Business with a mix of disgust, anger, and pity. "And hurting you isn't going to help anything."

Business exhaled in relief. He dropped to his back and seem to let the exhaustion take over.

Benny let him lie there a bit, then stepped back, and held out his hand. Business looked stunned, but he took it. Benny pulled him up and led him to the couch. He sat on the adjacent one and bent over, hands in his unmanageable hair and elbows on his knees. He was quiet for a long time.

Business shuffled. The silence seemed to make him uncomfortable. He folded his hands, sighed, and sat up straight. "So. What do you—the both of you," he nodded at Benny in acknowledgement, "need me to do?"

Benny paused. Then he breathed a sigh. "Bad Cop deserves to tell you that." He gripped his hair. "But he won't." He looked up. "I'd tell you to apologize. Even if you've done it before. But…" he shook his head. Business nodded, seeming almost relieved.

Benny thought for a while. He thought for quite a while. "There's not much you can do." He said. "Or that I can do." He suddenly felt very, very tired. There was a hollowness in his chest. A sickness in his stomach. He felt like breaking down into tears, right in Business's living room. But then, abruptly…nothing. No feelings, just ice inside.

"Do you like space?" he said suddenly.

"What?" Business seemed confused.

"_Do you like space_?" Benny repeated, his hands trembling.

"Um…" Business thought about it and shrugged. "I…suppose…"

Benny looked him in the eye. He got up, strode over to him, and leaned in too close. He reached out a finger and pointed it squarely at his chest. He wondered for a moment, if he'd get reported, and why Business hadn't called his guards. He considered that maybe he didn't have them any more, and then had a brief thought pass over him—that Business wanted to be hurt, that he wanted retribution somehow—but that really didn't make him feel more congenial towards him in the slightest.

"Good." Benny growled. "Because if you _EVER_ hurt anyone like that ever again, if you _EVER_ hurt _him_ the way you did…" he gave Business a stab with his finger. He let out a small yelp and flinched. "You'll be seeing _plenty_ of it. From outside an airlock. Without a space suit." He smiled, a sadistic, ferocious smile, and he had to admit that this smile chilled him more than anything else he'd done today, or maybe in his entire life. But boy, did it feel _good_.

Business, wide-eyed and thoroughly freaked out, nodded a little too quickly. Benny stepped back, the smile still on his face. He relaxed, let it drop. Good. Good…may be this trip hadn't been a complete waste after all…

He felt like he had to say something. Something to make everything line up. Something to reassure Business. Tell him he really _did_ forgive him, just…the wounds were still raw and unattended. He needed to know a little bit of how it felt, he needed to understand. That was all.

But then he had a vision. A clear, horrific vision of this man pouring acid on Bad Cop's face, twisting it permanently, sealing it into that one, horrific, terrifying moment. Taking Good Cop with it. He closed his eyes. He could see him writhe. He could hear him scream.

The shaking all made sense now. The terror. Wringing Benny's hand until he cried out. Trying to keep him away. Trying not to contaminate him.

So he gave one, last, dark look in warning, turned, and walked out of the house, out through the door, down the driveway...

Left Business alone with his thoughts. Left all the ugly at his house.

Didn't look back.


	3. Chapter 3

Oooh boy, so where do I even begin?

Well, a lot has changed in 2 years. Still part of this fandom, just not a super active part. My entire social sphere within the Lego Move fandom pretty much disbanded. Also, this fic is a sappy, rough mess. Part of me thinks i should let sleeping dogs lie.

And yet...

Well you see, my phone is a 5"x3" " block god-knows-why-it-does-what-it-does, and so while it was pressed for storage it deleted all of my notes and replaced them with the ones from my ipad. The ipad that crashed and deleted everything a year ago. I guess they were buried somewhere on my gmail account. *shrugs* Anyway among the notes was the unpublished 3rd part of Careless, and I looked it over, saw that it was...well not as bad as I remember it being, and thought "what the hell, I hate leaving loose ends" and figured I might as well publish it. I honestly should have done it 2 years ago, but I was and still am a raging perfectionist and was not happy with the chapter, but had no idea how to improve it.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm still not 100% happy with the chapter, but this fic is old. Older than some of my friendships. Older than the phone that retrieved it. Unless I rework the whole thing, it's never going to be up to the standards I have now. And maybe that's ok. Maybe it's ok if the last chapter is a sappy, rough mess. It'll match the rest of the fic, and maybe that's not a bad thing, all in all. Maybe one day I'll write some sort of homage or sequel or something to this fic, or maybe even rework the whole thing, but at some point...well let's just say I decided it's better to complete it than leave this finished chapter of 2 years sitting unpublished in my notes because it wasn't quite the way I envisioned it.

Anyhow, if you took the time to read this, I'm grateful. A little embarrassed, but grateful. And I have no idea who'd even want to read something this old and gross and shameful but uh...it's finished now, and the weight on my chest feels a couple of ounces lighter. So yeah. Careless is finally complete for real this time. Thanks for reading, everyone. Thanks for helping me get through some of the hardest years of my life. Couldn't have done it without all of you.

~Pi

* * *

Benny was tired when he came home that night. He didn't have any reports to fill out or things to take care of, so he just wandered to Bad Cop's apartment, kicked off his shoes and collapsed on the bed.

He laid there for a while, thinking about everything. He knew Bad Cop had done awful things, and he had long since forgiven him for that. It wasn't really important to the person he was right now, so Benny saw no reason to bring it up. But sometimes he forgot that Bad Cop had also had horrible things done _to _him, and that was a lot harder to process than it should have been. Bad Cop was so strong and brave and...why? Why would ANYONE hurt him like that? Sure, there were plenty of Master Builders and their families that would have loved to get even with him, to pay him back for all the suffering he'd caused, but even still...there was revenge and there was...this. Benny wasn't even sure what to call this. Torture, he guessed. A violation of his very mind.

Benny closed his eyes and shuddered. Business was so...disarming, easy to forgive and trust in some way. So easy to forget he was capable of breaking a person-no, not just a person, HIS cop, HIS love-and tearing away a part of their identity. Sometimes Benny wondered if Bad Cop had done that to someone. He'd seen some of the results of his work-twisted shells of people.

That was another problem; dredging up one past meant dredging up another. Bad Cop the torture victim was also Bad Cop the torturer. The Bad Cop who stood stiffly alert to be brutally punished was the Bad Cop who kidnapped innocent people and returned them as ghosts and corpses.

Everything...everything felt so sick. Benny felt like he had lost a little faith in the entire world.

But the thought that continued burrowing itself into Benny's insides was that the person he loved the most was in pain-terrible, terrible pain. That his wonderful B now thought that all the ugly he carried around inside of him, all the terrible things he'd seen and done and that had been done to him, were going to surface and destroy everything they'd built together. Benny shut his eyes and pulled his hands into tight fists. That was unfair. That was so horribly unfair. And he was a little proud of himself now, that Business had to live with some of that, had to look that in the eye and face his past, because he knew Bad Cop did it all day, every day, even when he pretended like he was fine.

_Why won't he just tell me?_ Benny though sadly. _I don't care, I don't...CARE... I just want him to be...happy..._

The tears came before he could stop them, and he sobbed into his pillow. He didn't bother checking the time when he got home, so he had no idea how long he'd been crying, just that he did until he ran out of tears. When he was done, he laid there, his face buried into the wet fabric. He shook, feeling exhausted and dehydrated.

Bad Cop came home in quite a dismal state as well. On top of being injured, weak, and exhausted, he was now all those things doubled. On top of that, he was mentally and emotionally worn out and entirely sleep deprived, not to mention ravenous.

Which is why he was at least somewhat grateful to find Benny in the kitchen, making soup. Soup sounded really good right now.

"Ben?" Bad Cop said.

He turned, startled.

"Hey B.!" He sang out cheerily. "Just making dinner." His face suddenly turned worried. "I hope you don't mind, it's just...it's all I could think of to do right now..."

Bad Cop smiled a little. "It's fine Ben. It's..." He limped over and kissed him. Up close, he could see Benny's eyes were red from crying. That he he was tired too.

"It's great." Bad Cop said.

"Great!" Benny repeated. As he all but floated away, back to his work. Bad Cop sighed, and began taking off his uniform. Benny was hurt. Benny couldn't be hurt, not by him...

He stopped as he lowered his helmet from his head. He took a good long look at his hands. Those gnarled, ugly, scarred things that had taken part in things uglier still. These were the hands that broke Master Builders, that shattered bone and tore flesh. These were the hands that Kragled his own parents. These were the hands that gripped the edges of desks as Business had his way with him, in one form or another. How could he _dare_ touch Benny with these?

He inhaled and crushed those thoughts far down inside of him. He focused on pulling off his clothes, piece by piece. First his helmet, then his jacket, then his shoes and socks...

What was he going to do? Benny couldn't stay here. Not with him. Not with a damaged, vicious thing like him...

He grimaced. He was pathetic. Music. MUSIC had brought him to his knees. Stupid, godawful music had unraveled all of his, and Emmet's and Wyldestyle's and Benny's, hard work. But even remembering that song, hearing the sound of it play in his head, was enough to make him grip the table and lean on it to keep from swaying again.

"B.? B.!" Dear God, Benny, just let me go. He thought. Let me fall. But Benny was already holding him up, and easing him down to a chair. He rested his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands.

No, no, he wasn't going to cry here. Not now...

"Ben." He whispered.

"What B.?"

"I..." He stifled a sob. "I...god Ben, I'm so sorry..."

"Shhhh, shhh..." Benny said, desperately wanting to take his hand or hug him from behind, but knowing that the touch wold be unwanted and would startle him, so he did nothing, just pulled up a chair and watched his dear, lovely boyfriend fight back tears and bear the weight of the whole goddamn fucking planet.

Something inside, Benny wasn't sure what, but something inside connected with something else and the sparks began to fly. How dare he. How DARE he. Screw what Bad Cop, Hell, what either of the cops had done. How DARE he rob him of a second chance. How DARE he do something so horrible to someone who had so much _good_ inside of him. Who deserved so much better than to apologize to his lover for having a fucking panic attack on the fucking living room floor.

"If anyone should be apologizing, it should be him." There it was again. The edge. The spite. It made his insides feel cold. Like the vacuum of space.

Bad Cop looked up. A tear or two had fought its way out and was streaking down his cheek. "What...?"

"You heard me." Benny's hands furled into fists again, this time full of the power to really break something. "YOU shouldn't feel bad about anything. If anybody should be apologizing for this fucking mess, it's the fucking asshole who did this to you." He refused to speak his name. Fuck him. Goddamn fuck him to goddamn fucking hell.

Bad Cop just seemed...stunned. He groped for words, but there were none to say...well, except...

"Ben...where were you all day...?"

The anger didn't drain, but it hesitated. What was he to say? He didn't want to lie to him. Especially not after all of this.

"I..." He swallowed. "I..."

He let his fists drop to his lap as loosely curled up hands, his shoulders slumping a bit.

"I paid..._him_ a visit..."

"Business?" Ah there. Horror. Fear. And...a little bit of...awe?

"Yeah." Benny all but snarled. "Yeah, him...that fucker..."

Bad Cop was quiet for some time. He looked pretty shook up. And scared.

"Ben..." He was beginning to breath a bit shallowly. Benny could see it. "Ben, you didn't...?"

"Well I certainly felt like it." Benny said, looking away. A little ashamed, but also not at all. "It's time he hurt the way we all did...you included..."

Now it was his turn to steal a glance at his boyfriend's reaction. Sorrow. Agony. "Ben..." Now he was really going to cry.

Benny turned away. "I'm sorry B. I just..." He clenched his teeth and dug his nails into his legs. "I wish l could...DO something...anything..." He dug his nails in harder. "I wish I could...keep you safe..." His voice was low, but it bit like steel. "He had _no right_..._NO RIGHT_ to do that to you...to TAKE from you like that..." He looked up, looked into Bad Cop's eyes, those lovely pools of hazel nut and scar tissue. "And someone needed to tell him that."

Benny wasn't sure what this reaction was. Shock seemed to be the reigning temperament for a long time. Bad Cop flopped back into the chair, slack jawed. Benny was afraid he'd let him down in the worst possible way. That he was going to ask him to leave, forget the soup, forget that they were lovers, just forget and take his things and go home.

"Ben." He said, a note of awe in his voice. "Ben...I..." His hand went to his mouth, then slicked back his hair. More than once. "Ben...I don't deserve..._Ben_." He said, looking his in the eyes. "You did that, something that stupid, for _me?_"

Benny looked confused. "Of course. It...well, it needed to be done."

"So you did it..." Bad Cop looked dazed. Then he gained composure. He looked Benny fiercely in the eye. "Don't you DARE do that again." He snapped. "I don't want you in jail because that _bastard_," he seemed to relish saying that, "slapped me around years ago. It's not worth it, okay? You're so much..god, you're so much better than him, Ben."

Benny was...speechless. He opened his mouth and no words came out. So he just nodded compliantly.

Bad Cop leaned back into the chair again. He cradled his right hand with his left, then his right arm. He look Ben in the eye finally and whispered. "Thank ye, Ben." He smiled, so sad and genuine and warm. And brilliant. Like a small, infant sun.


End file.
